Be a Ruler Over Yourself
Written by Lisiate Tonga on 19th of January 2021

There’s a well-known principle that sales people strive to live by in their day to day dealings with potential clients and customers. That is “you cannot expect to move a customer from one emotional state to another if you cannot control your own emotions”. If you cannot control your emotions, especially when the customer is getting angry at you or has said something to trigger you and you react by getting angry and biting back or saying something to offend the customer chances are you will win the argument but you’ve lost the sale. But if you can stay cool and do your best to validate your customer’s feelings, you’ve got the best chance of closing a deal and gaining a customer.

 
In life we will come into circumstances where we feel like we’re in the dumps and can’t get out or we’ve somehow been dealt the worst hand. These situations we find ourselves in trigger us. I want you to know that your initial reaction is a natural response. However, you also need to know that in that moment you have an opportunity to take control or lose it! You can get angry, irate and ignorant, make a series of bad decisions and then use your unjust circumstance to excuse them OR you can respond to it proactively by taking a deep breath, remaining calm and focusing on solutions. You can ask questions like ‘what can I do differently’ OR you can ask questions like ‘why did so and so do that’. Can you see the difference though? One takes responsibility and is aimed at fixing the problem while the other gets us nowhere except more angry!

Controlling your emotions is tough. It takes practice, strength and humility to put off your ego and make a better decision, especially when your brain is screaming at you to react a certain way. I know it’s all easier said than done. It’s hard for me, it’s hard for all of us. But if we really want to make better decisions for our lives as well as for those we love, we must start by NOT allowing our emotions to overtake our sensibilities. One of life’s greatest battles will be over who you choose to rule over you. Is it the ‘weak you’ who is lazy and wants to hide behind excuses and addictions or is it the ‘strong you’ who takes accountability for your actions and consistently works on bettering yourself? Either way, you win; for better or for worse.

Lisiate Tonga


Lisiate is an addiction recovery expert who helps people break free from their negative habits and influences. He has spent the past few years writing a self-help book, Conquer Your Addictions, and also putting out relevant content weekly across multiple online platforms such as Facebook, YouTube, Instagram and his blospot. His purpose is to help others in the struggle to overcome their demons and find meaning for their lives.
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