One of my favourite movies growing up was The Princess Bride. In it, the main character Wesley says to the Princess, “Life IS pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something!” I love that quote because it’s a true life principle.
There are some of us going through life trying to avoid as much pain as possible only to find that is inevitable. We do all that we can to numb it, avoid it or run from it and when we come to it’s there waiting to welcome us with open arms.
So since it’s inevitable I want to make an important distinction to help you understand what pain is good and what pain is bad so you can make better choices.
There are mainly 2 types of pain: The pain of discipline and the pain of comfort.
The pain of discipline is “initially” much more intense. After sometime it becomes less intense but is sustained. At times it is physically, emotionally and spiritually taxing. We associate a lot of pain to discipline and consequently our first instinct is to avoid it at all costs. However, if we persist and push through, this pain will help us break through barriers to create a higher pain threshold and will build our character. This is called growth. And growth leads to more opportunities to grow and become more which leads us down the road to realising our potential and peace of mind.
On the other hand, you may think the pain of comfort is not nearly as intense, it can be delayed, and it is seemingly optional – something you can avoid if you want to. But here’s the difference- right now it’s manageable. Because it is, you often choose this route because you believe it’s less painful. For example, you would rather stay in a job you hate just because it pays the bills. Instead of leaving to find something you love and being out of your comfort zone you spend your whole careers doing just enough not to not get fired.
The problem is that this belief is misleading and you’re selling yourself a lie.
What’s detrimental is that in the long run the pain WILL become much more intense than the pain of being disciplined. I’m not talking about just physical pain but the emotional pain - pain that comes from the realisation that you’ve wasted your life. For example, if you have an addiction to a substance, it could be the physical pain of sickness coupled with the emotional pain of being restricted to a lesser quality of life. It could be the pain of a loss relationship, the pain of mediocrity, the pain and anxiety of despair from the belief that you will never overcome your addictions. The pain of “would’ve, could’ve, should’ve – the pain of regret. But all this pain may not compare to the pain you would cause others who love you dearly – your family and friends – your loved ones.
This is so important to understand. Pain is a part of life so don’t run from it but embrace it. Choosing the harder but better pain is choosing life.
